I am so totally here to vent today!! I realize there has to be good and bad in everything but dealing with the frustrating times is just that . . . frustrating.

Today, it's the "ex". I have to say that's the first time I've called him that. I'll start with calling him that to myself, if it comes out into the world that way one day I'll know it's true.

I NEVER assume anything anymore. I think it's such a dangerous thing . . . assumptions just set people up for disappointment if you ask me. I don't know if assumptions and expectations could be used in the same context, but I do know that if you put an expectation on someone and they don't live up to it, you're disappointed. Of course! But if you realize it was YOUR expectation for them then YOU are the only one that should be upset about it. So then assumptions often work the same way. If you assume something will go a certain way and then it doesn't, you've set yourself up for failure. Why would anyone set themselves up for failure??? I guess if you want to self-sabatoge yourself, go for it . . . . . but it's something I can see doing myself. I still fall into that trap here and there, but not much.

So my ex has decided/assumed that we have no future together. AND HE ASSUMES I WANT THAT!!!!!??????? After the way he's treated me, just "done" with me, and he flatters himself enough that he thinks I want to still get together with him?? Would HE want to get back together with himself??? Wow. At this moment I can't see putting up with his bullshit the rest of my life, but I still won't limit my possibilities by saying it'll never happen. I NEVER ASSUME.

Yet the man wants to be friends. He's "assumed" that together has to mean "together". I'm not sure I get that . . . . . we're going to have SOME kind of future together, we have children together. We're going to have our children's weddings together, we'll have grandchildren together, where does the list end? And to ASSUME that we're done, to close yourself off to ANYTHING, wow that's dangerous. I mean, I'll do many more things now than I would have 20 years ago, but I still won't close myself off to possibilities. Anyone that closes themselves off to possibilities is living a very shallow life.

I wish the very, very best for him but I will not be friends with someone that treats me like shit. And if he is just DONE and doesn't give both me and himself the courtesy of finding out what really happened between us, then I don't think I can be his friend. A relationship, on any level, has to be based on trust and honesty. He can't even be honest with himself! And I certainly can't trust him to be my friend if he's not going to be honest with me.

So I guess we'll see where this friendship goes, if it's going to exist at all. I'm open to whatever possibilities are out there, and I want a full life, whatever it contains. I will settle for NOTHING LESS.