It's been a while since I was here . . . a couple of months at least. I've been busy. Busy trying to figure out who I am and how I got here. Busy trying to figure out how my life became what it is today.
My husband told me a story last night about how he and my son were out and about the other day, and they were on this road that wasn't necessarily well-travelled. They came to a point where they had to make a decision on whether to forge forward and risk getting stuck, or turn around, go back, and take another route. And that's where we are in our lives too it seems.
Last post I talked about how I had friends as a teenager, and how one of those friends became my husband. I like to think we're still friends . . . we laugh together, do things together when we can, travel together, think of things at the same time, and generally enjoy each other's company. We've always been together, though, as parents. We didn't have the luxury of developing our relationship as a couple before we became 'mom and dad'. At the time we did this by choice -- we knew what we were getting into. And what has happened since then has still been by choice, but there are times (especially lately) when we've questioned the choices we've made. We question whether we want to still make choices together; he questions it much more than I do, and I'm starting to understand why. In the end though, we all make choices that bring us to where we are today. Bad or good, those choices are ours . . . we have to accept them, come to terms with them, and move on.
I have to say that I believe the things that brought us together in the first place are the basis of why we're still together today. Our basic moral beliefs and values are very similar; we both enjoy humour; we share a certain spiritual outlook; we have goals (both material and immaterial) that are similar. There are also things that make us very different, things that make us individuals. Those are the things I feel bring spice to our lives, if you want to think about it that way. They're things that balance our points of view, and allow us to do things that just one of us wouldn't necessarily have the skills or confidence to do individually. I think it would be a very boring life if you didn't have someone to bounce ideas off, someone to debate the latest news with, someone to dream with. Yes, you can do that with family, you can do that with friends . . . but there's something different about it being with your life partner, the person you've chosen to be THE ONE.
And so, we're questioning whether the road we've chosen is taking us down the right path. To rephrase, the right path for us. We've turned back. It's scary, because now the path isn't familiar and we're not sure yet if it will make us happier, make us better people. We're making choices now that will affect the next 20 or more years of our lives. I'm usually not a risk-taker, for whatever reason -- and this is a big risk. But it's a risk I'm willing to take because it's worth it, and we're worth it.
I'm trying to take it day by day . . . which is very hard when you're used to being in control and usually have an idea of where you're headed. But this road is going to be different, and I have faith in the fact that we're choosing the right path, wherever it leads.
My husband told me a story last night about how he and my son were out and about the other day, and they were on this road that wasn't necessarily well-travelled. They came to a point where they had to make a decision on whether to forge forward and risk getting stuck, or turn around, go back, and take another route. And that's where we are in our lives too it seems.
Last post I talked about how I had friends as a teenager, and how one of those friends became my husband. I like to think we're still friends . . . we laugh together, do things together when we can, travel together, think of things at the same time, and generally enjoy each other's company. We've always been together, though, as parents. We didn't have the luxury of developing our relationship as a couple before we became 'mom and dad'. At the time we did this by choice -- we knew what we were getting into. And what has happened since then has still been by choice, but there are times (especially lately) when we've questioned the choices we've made. We question whether we want to still make choices together; he questions it much more than I do, and I'm starting to understand why. In the end though, we all make choices that bring us to where we are today. Bad or good, those choices are ours . . . we have to accept them, come to terms with them, and move on.
I have to say that I believe the things that brought us together in the first place are the basis of why we're still together today. Our basic moral beliefs and values are very similar; we both enjoy humour; we share a certain spiritual outlook; we have goals (both material and immaterial) that are similar. There are also things that make us very different, things that make us individuals. Those are the things I feel bring spice to our lives, if you want to think about it that way. They're things that balance our points of view, and allow us to do things that just one of us wouldn't necessarily have the skills or confidence to do individually. I think it would be a very boring life if you didn't have someone to bounce ideas off, someone to debate the latest news with, someone to dream with. Yes, you can do that with family, you can do that with friends . . . but there's something different about it being with your life partner, the person you've chosen to be THE ONE.
And so, we're questioning whether the road we've chosen is taking us down the right path. To rephrase, the right path for us. We've turned back. It's scary, because now the path isn't familiar and we're not sure yet if it will make us happier, make us better people. We're making choices now that will affect the next 20 or more years of our lives. I'm usually not a risk-taker, for whatever reason -- and this is a big risk. But it's a risk I'm willing to take because it's worth it, and we're worth it.
I'm trying to take it day by day . . . which is very hard when you're used to being in control and usually have an idea of where you're headed. But this road is going to be different, and I have faith in the fact that we're choosing the right path, wherever it leads.
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